As most of you who know me know, I have most always had an answer for everything. Please forgive me for that! If you ever doubted that just ask my husband or one of my kids...HA! I have always been a fixer and a pretty good gauge of people and what what...so to be at a loss for guidance, advice and the like is very humbling...
Throw in living cross culturally to the mix and somedays I just stammer...at least my brain is stammering...what...do...I...say...right...now...And then there is nothing. Just flat lining. It is the strangest thing to be thinking and there is nothing up there. Just like a vast mass of nothing.
I am learning the hard way that my only hope is in Jesus...Oh did I just say that? That's certainly not very missionary like...
If I thought I needed Him before He is showing me that I cannot live without him...and when He gets me to slow down, make time for Him and finally humble myself I hear Him whisper...
"You need Me...you can't do this without Me. I am going to take everything you are good at and remove it so you have to rely on Me. Yes... just Me... No skill, no knowledge, no training, nothing!...just Me. Oh yeah...and then you might not like my answer. I might tell you no and you might have to see some injustice and feel some real pain. But I am still ruling and reigning and good. Very good. You just need to come to me and I will fill you.
BUT THIS WILL NOT BE EASY!"
So I cling to The Truth and The Life even when my feeble pitiful brain can't seem to muster a thought... I long for the whisper to become a roar and my stammer to be words that bring Glory to my owner...
So today is my miracle day...because He is still whispering...
Sandy
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