So you think you know what your doing? Well think again...

Isaiah 55:8-9 8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Today was a good a day. It has had me reflecting (and sobbing) on how we got here. So many things had to happen for us to get to today...

in 2008 my family and job are PERFECT!,

I was layed off from a really good job, 

took a job at my church (I had said I would NEVER DO THAT AGAIN), 

coworkers leave, 

I'm alone trying to figure out this thing called missions, 

LUNATIC friend gives me the book Radical,

CRAZY couple WOULDN'T stop pushing for support of orphan care ministry 

PERSPECTIVES class is now my work responsibility to host,

another AWESOME couple leaves to serve with Lifesong Zambia,

Robert and I are sent to visit said awesome couple in Zambia,

We argue over which kids to sponsor at Lifesong Zambia,

Lifesong Zambia is AMAZING,

Choose 4 boys to sponsor,

We are debt free except the house,

Back to Zambia on a mission team,

Perspectives for the 3rd time and I am ROCKED (I'm a slow learner),

Robert decides we are moving to Zambia to build a high school...

Ok Ok...enough. There are a JILLION other details that are not in there that have all lead up to today. 

If you would have told me that I lost my job so that today could happen I would have laughed in your face...sorry God! And I probably would have told you we are super awesome spiritual couple thats why God choose us for the mission field. I mean really, look at Caleb and Joshua. Only perfect people can raise kids like that! I can just see God and Jesus and the Angels having a good belly laugh. At this point the angels are rolling on the floor laughing as God chuckles and reminds them that I am a slow learner...

There is so much we can KNOW about God. But that I would ever think I could understand God's ways is where I need to be careful. Regardless of the situation I need to trust that God is revealing Himself for a bigger purpose.

Today I stand in awe of the privilege of calling Jesus my Lord. He has reminded me today that His plans are far greater than mine. That He can accomplish much...EVEN without me having any idea what I am doing. That His ways will always bring Him glory. And there is nothing I can do to change that. REGARDLESS of me, He wins!

So today I will choose to see every moment as a stepping stone to see the glory of God. Because there is no moment in time that does not reflect forward to the coming of Christ. So today was a great day...a picture of God choosing his beloved and His beloved saying yes...I choose you back. So that His glory is made known to the whole world. BEAUTIFUL!

But thats not the end...today is the beginning of the next step in God's plan. And I am so glad I don't have it figured out. Because His plan is so much more than I ever imagined!

He's chosen you too. Won't you choose him back...Today is my miracle day! Because today is the beginning of another glimpse of God's glory...

Sandy 

I don't know anything...

So am I a blogger or not? I would say NOT! 

You know the crazy thing about my life is that I am finally realizing (hard headed is one way of putting it) that I don't know anything. I am not kidding. Every principle, work ethic, health tip, old wives tale, political thought, child rearing discipline, etc. has been challenged and found to have flaws.

 Not to mention my brain is just a bunch of mush most days. I am going to blame menopause for the lack of brain function. Today I have had a hard time formulating thought, paying attention, staying awake. Demonstrated perfectly by me pulling out in front of a car 10 yards away as I left the post office. All I could do was mouth sorry as they looked at me like I was out of my ever loving mind crazy lady. Which of course I was...

So roll that all together and I just don't have anything worthy of saying to anybody when I can't even manage my own thought processes. So why would I blog? Really who am I to try and be profound or smart (no comments please) or cute or anything really. Every day I get older God shows me how little and insignificant I really am. Unworthy of anything...

I have been re-watching a Loui Giglio video series and God has been reminding me again how big and awesome he is and how little and puny I am. Scripture is full of the wonder and awe of my God. But for some reason ever since we returned from the mission field I have had to scratch and claw and hold on tight and work and sweat to stay in the word and close to Jesus. I know I know...WHAT?? I don't know...its been really hard. There is no one I trust more than Jesus. So why? Whats wrong with me?

I think when I realize I don't know anything and I really can't accomplish anything its a hard pill to swallow when you have taken such pride in being able to DO things. And then there is the mission field that I so desperately long to be in (don't get me wrong- We are ALL IN THE MISSION FIELD wherever we are. Oh I do know something!). Throw this Collin County affluent American culture on top of all that and I am a mess.  I feel like I don't belong here but I fit here. Its like that piece of the jigsaw puzzle that snaps into the spot it doesn't belong. Thats me! I'm where I am supposed to be but I just don't fit even though it looks like I do.

And I am coming to realize this is exactly where God wants me (Col 2:8). He is slowly reteaching me that I am a little bitty blip on a little bitty earth in a ginormous cosmos with no significance that can do nothing on my own. But if I will submit to him HE will be able to do more than I can ever dream or imagine (Eph 3:20). So as hard as it is I don't want to know anything...except that HE is the answer to everything. And I KNOW that!

So lets get together and talk. I am much more open minded than before. Because today He reminds me I know nothing and today is my miracle day because HE is not done with me yet.


                                                                                                                Sandy